The last few days in Albany. I leave without regard. I have refused to look out the window. I care not to see the representation of this town covering the streets, thick through the air. It is cold and bitter outside as the dirty snow covers the broken down roads.

I walk with my heart in hand along the Hudson. It is cold out. All of my desires are pointing to the train that crosses over the bridge. The water has never been as still as it is now. Ice broke and I had the gnawing feeling that I would never feel the same again.

I am learning so much.

thats all you can ask for.

can i ask for naivety back so i can believe in all the relationships i dont have any more.

you never had that ignorance in the first place, you always knew what these relationships were.

even when they were happening?

even when they were happening darling.